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Coping, Or So I Thought

I’ve been kind of in a deep funk all day.  I was so busy on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, getting everything ready for the small dinner party I had Sunday night, I really didn’t have time to think about much else.  Over the last few days I’ve been listening to the news about the horrible tragedy in Connecticut and reading a good bit about it online.  I think the culmination of it all just finally got to me.

Debutante Camellias

Last night I had a nightmare.  I dreamed my son (who is now grown) was a baby and my husband and I had left him in the care of someone else, someone who was baby sitting him. When we went to pick him up, I knew something was wrong.   The person there wouldn’t give us any answers as to where our child was and kept making up stories and excuses.   There was a baby in a playpen that I thought/hoped was him, but when I picked it up, it was only a doll.

We frantically left to go search for our son, afraid we wouldn’t find him in time before something terrible happened.  When we got outside, all the tires on our car were flat, so we were paralyzed, unable to go find our son.  At that point I awoke.  That’s usually what happens when a dream gets too awful, too terrifying to continue.   I know that nightmare is a result of all I’ve been hearing in the news, especially the part about all the parents waiting in the gym, being told there were no more children coming out of the school.

Debutante Camellias

I haven’t posted about the Sandy Hook tragedy because there’s little I can add that you haven’t already heard on every talk show, newscast, radio show, etc…  Also, I have always wanted BNOTP to be a place you could count on to be uplifting, a place where you know you’ll always leave with a smile on your face.  I’ve tried to keep things normal around here.  I tried to post this morning and everything I had to post seemed ridiculous and trivial.  My heart grieves for the children who were lost and for every single person their lives touched. I know your heart grieves, too.

I’m going to work on a post now that will be a normal post, a fun post and I hope to have it up later this evening sometime.  Well, at least by tomorrow.  I need a post like that right now.




Comments

  1. I’m feeling the same way Susan. Everything seems so frivolous to me right now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It helps to know other people are feeling the same way. I’ll look forward to your post later.

  2. I think we’ve all had our nightmares, whether asleep or awake. I can say that I was paralyzed with grief and sadness all weekend; I only went to church on Sunday because I sing in the choir and felt an obligation. Our wonderful rector, of course, addressed the tragedy, and in a nutshell begged us to see JOY around us; he remarked on a wonderful wedding held the night before. We all must grieve in our own way.
    Your post is so poignant; thank you for sharing your feelings. And, thank you, also, for sharing those fabulous camellias. Nothing says hope and ‘coming’ like they do.

  3. I am right there with you Susan. I, too have been having nightmares about my kids in danger. I think that’s why they called this every parent’s nightmare. It truly is.
    I found too that whatever I posted seemed trivial and unimportant in light of what’s going on in Connecticut, but not wanting my blog to reflect my personal thoughts on the tragedy. Thank you for this post. It reflects exactly what I am feeling too. ~Delores

  4. It probably hits you harder too because you used to work at an elementary school. I haven’t allowed myself to watch much of the coverage. This mother’s heart just can’t take it. I cannot even fathom what the parents who lost their children so tragically are going through.

  5. Dorinda Selke says:

    Susan – you’re such a sweetheart – be glad that you had the distraction of the dinner party to keep yourself going and occupied. My husband and I are truly in a “funk” as you call it, but we believe that most everyone is. Each day that goes by it seems the stories that come out are worse and worse – In our little town, we are organizing a Pancake Breakfast right after New Year’s and are donating 100% of the proceeds to help the victim’s families with funeral expenses, etc. So many towns and people are doing so much it is amazing. I just love our country. It’s just a shame that it takes a tragedy for the good in some people to come out. I think they say that the dreams and nightmares as scary as they are, are good because the mind and body are processing through everything. Hoping your dreams are much better tonight – Sending a big hug – Dorinda

  6. Vicki Warrender says:

    I feel your pain, Susan. Thank you for your thoughts.

  7. I know what you mean, Susan. This has hit all of us like nothing else. It is so senseless and indescribable. We will never understand. Please don’t feel compelled to do a post. Just do what you need to do. XO, Pinky

  8. I have been in kind of a funk also. Not able to get excited about Christmas this year. I feel like it is not fair to get excited when all those families are grieving. Besides my kids are not here and there is no reason to decorate. so I haven’t. Pretty bad I guess, but I just can’t get to that point. I hope you can get past the sadness too. I am working on it.

    Linnea

  9. Susan, Well said and well done. We are collectively heartbroken.

  10. I know exactly how you feel – I’ve been having nightmares as well and mine are grown men too. I can’t get the images out of my mind.

    Looking forward to your post to maybe lift me out of the funk a bit too……..

    gena

  11. Oh Susan, what a horrible nightmare. I had restless sleep and nightmares Friday night and now I try to avoid the news reports Although I read a story here and there when I come across one on FB and it makes me cry all over again.

    Take care.

  12. Susan , this happened on Friday Morning as I was preparing our home for our 13th annual Christmas Party. I had to keep going, but I had to keep watching at the same time. Finally Wayne said we just need to put on Christmas Music and turn off the TV, he said this will be there in the morning. And it was, it was not a dream, it had really happened. There are no tears, or I’m sorries, or so sads that can take away the awful. The Awful did happen, 20 Children gone, 7 adults gone. But even in Grief there are moments of Happiness. We have to lift each other up, and the blogging community is wonderful at doing just that.

  13. Judith Blanchard says:

    I have been going through the same feelings, Susan. This tragedy has given everyone a greater clarity of focus, and so much now seems trivial. But it is important for us to “mourn with those that mourn” and I don’t begrudge a single tear that I have shed for everyone involved. (As a former First Responder I feel for those brave souls that were the first on the scene!) We will be the lucky ones that will be able to look forward to your next “happy” post because we will have our “normal” lives returning and we will be able to recover our equilibrium quicker than those who are directly involved. But, I am so heartbroken for the families and community in CT. Their lives will never be the same. Thank you for your post. It was heartfelt and appreciated.

  14. Hi Susan, It is very bleak here in Fairfield County, Connecticut. It seems that all celebrations have come to a halt. Everyone knows someone affected in someway. I can’t even begin to understand the pain of the parents as they waited, and now wonder how would I go on? How will they? My kids are also grown (college age) and I am now trying to focus on their homecoming Saturday. I find myself bursting into tears and see people on the streets doing the same, shaking their heads, wiping their eyes. We will keep praying for the comfort of the families affected. I hope your nightmares are over too! Linda

  15. I completely relate to how you feel. I try to go thru my day w/o giving it much time but this mornng as I was dropping my kids at school, I saw a pair of tiny pink tennis shoes pop out the door of the truck in front of me, the smallest little beauty was wearing them as she bounded into school, not a care in the world and there came the tears again. I can not imagine how the families feel, how do they move on from this?

  16. Susan, thank you for sharing from the heart. I too was hit deeply today as I was driving my babies to school and so I understand that moment of when it truly sinks in. I appreciate you providing a welcoming site to share and enjoy something beautiful, even in the midst of tragedy.

  17. Susan, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I think they reflect what all of us are feeling at this time. It’s OK to feel that way – it’s how we grieve and grieving is important. When you’re ready, I look forward to your happy, silly posts. {{{HUGS}}}

  18. I didn’t dream about it, but I was so upset that I had chest pains and spent Sat. night in the hospital cardiac observation unit. I think the stress of it was too much for me to bear. There is no way to understand how something so terrible could happen, and how anyone could be evil enough to do it.

  19. Susan, I know exactly how you feel. It was only today that I was able to get up a post. As a retired teacher, this has hit me hard. But I’m pushing through the sadness because I want all the children who come to our house Christmas Eve to have a wonderful time. I think it’s important for them that normalcy returns. Perhaps it’s just as important to us as well. I’m wishing you a better night tonight.

  20. Bella Michelle says:

    I think so many of us have felt the weight of this tragedy as something more personal…deeper than others before it. I think your post was a good way to share and let out some of the grief. When I posted about it a couple of days ago all I kept feeling is that there are no adequate words to share about such pain.

  21. I think everyone is suffering over this. Every precious face brings a tear to my eye and a lump in my stomach. I might be the only one, but it feels like the news is re-traumatizing us. They just keep running it on a news-loop with no new news; just the same story over and over. There is just no getting away from them. I hear the people in CT are asking the reporters to please go home. I guess we will see if they honor their wishes. I know from my own experience that I like my quiet to try to wrap my mind around it all. I hope congress will work on doing something. They may not be able to save everyone, but if they only save one – that is someone’s daughter, or son, or husband, or wife. Exponentially for every person that did not survive they all had parents, and grandparents, and siblings that will carry this with them for the rest of their lives. May God bless them.

  22. Thank you Susan. I am here in Connecticut, next to Newtown. I taught art last summer to one of the victims. My son’s old middle school, which had closed, is being readied for Sandy Hook to use. It is so raw. Reading your post and all the comments warms my heart. It helps to know the rest of the country is here for our community. I hope that all of our nightmares end soon. Thank you all again for your support.

  23. P.S. and if anyone care to see a little sweetness in life check out Chris’ blog. She is not related to me, but just an excellent cook with sweet stories. After taking yesterday off she posted this sweet post that is filled with pink.

    http://thecafesucrefarine.blogspot.com

  24. Sharon McMurray says:

    I think your post was needed Susan! We all needed to come here and see that we’re all having the same feelings. And I had nightmares last nite too! It is just so hard to process all of this isn’t it? So sad here at Christmas. We sent a card to the families to let them know we’re thinking of and praying for them to the address that was posted on facebook…if you all want to do the same, here it is….
    Sandy Hook Elementary School
    12 Dickenson Drive
    Sandy Hook, CT o6482

  25. This unspeakable tragedy has touched all of our lives….the entire country is in mourning…..we are all in a funk right now. Those families lives will never be the same again. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us and we continue to keep all in prayer……

  26. Your dream was truly frightening. I used to have strange dreams like that when my children were younger. I was very over protective and it has to be worse for families now after all we’ve seen. The media is saturated with this tragedy…we never have a chance to recoup and focus on the joy and blessings we have in our lives. We feel guilty for doing so. It may be the timing. Time heals all wounds…but the holiday season can’t wait. All we can do is hold our precious families and friends closer and pray for an end to the evil in this world. And yes…it’s time to move on to some lighter hearted posts. Thanks for opening your heart to us.

    XO,
    Jane

  27. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and more. I had a nightmare about this last night, also. I feel so sad for our world today and yet I have hope and faith. I cannot even imagine how the families must feel. We must correct this type of crime. So many things have changed since I raised my children. I feel so many of us are in shock.

  28. I feel the exact same way, it was nice to read your post. I am an elementary school teacher and mother of 3 elementary school kids – I just can’t stop thinking about this horrible tragedy.. I keep picturing this scenario happening at my school and I think of the heroic teachers and principal, they really did save many lives. I normally don’t cry very easily at all, but everytime i read a story online about those precious little kids, it brings tears to my eyes. My heart goes out to all those families.

  29. Susan…that tragedy has left us all so numb…I cannot stop thinking about those beautiful “babies” and wonderful staff who lost their lives senselessly…I grieve for the families…I cannot imagine what they are going through…All I wanted to do that day was hear my granddaughter’s voice…so when I finally heard her laughter over the phone, I felt blessed…I think we are all in a “funk”..it will take a long while to get over it…but we need happy….happy to get us through…So thanks for giving us some “happy” each day!!…

  30. Susan, I almost missed this post of your newsletter as I am in the process of importing 3 email addresses into Outlook 2010. For some reason Outlook put this post in the trash. I am so glad I found it. I thought the rage and tears would be better today…it simply is not. I just can’t seem to bring myself out of this seemingly perpetual state of confusion this tragedy has laid upon my heart. I feel your pain and I am so sorry this has caused nightmares for you. I have prayed for the families and the community until I feel numb. I realized today that the numbness is simply my mind’s inability to grasp the infinite horror of the past 5 days. Be good to yourself and may God bless us all.

  31. I don’t know how the parents (and survivors of the others) are getting through this unimaginable horror. I think it’s hit everyone terribly hard…I feel such sorrow. Thank you Sharon, above, for the address to send cards.

  32. Susan,

    We all share your pain and sadness over this tragedy. I have been in constant prayer for the families and for the entire community. I have a friend who has been posting on her FB each day, in rememberence of each one who died, posting lovely words and something about each person. This is her way of coping. We all are coping in different ways, yet it all comes down to the same. God BLESS!!

  33. Thank you, Susan, for this post. I can’t imagine life ever being normal again, at least not for a long, long while. My heart and spirit are broken. I grieve for the families of the 26 who where lost, especially the parents. Even though my boys are grown, I kissed, hugged and told them I loved them repeatedly this weekend at a family gathering. Even though they would not normally accept such clinging affection, I think they understood that it was something I needed to do. May everyone have a peaceful holiday and hold everyone they love close.

  34. I feel the same way, Susan. I think everyone’s heart is broken and I don’t have words to describe sadness and fear, too… All I can do is praying for all people touched by this tragedy, and praying for my children’s health and long life.

  35. Je crois partager comme beaucoup d’entre nous cette même douleur… insoutenable. Comment accepter l’inimaginable ?…

    « …Soyons plein de gratitude et de reconnaissance pour cette vie qui nous est offerte et qui nous montre qu’il est toujours possible de garder le sourire pour traverser les épreuves, de faire de sa vie un bel écrin d’amour… Que Noël soit chargé de sens et de douceur… »
    Avec de gros bisous,

    Martine Alison

  36. Susan, my friend,
    you know, I love America so very much… I don’t know how to describe the pain I feel everytime I read about such tragedies in your country… Everyone who knows me, knows I start immediately crying when I hear sad and bad news from the U.S., wherever I am… I am not embarrassed about this… when I am happy I laugh wherever I am, so why should I don’t cry wherever I am, when I feel immensely sad? You know, I don’t repress my feelings… whatever they are… and I don’t care what (stupid) people say…
    I got so many phone calls from my husband and my wonderful son and all my friends on Friday, and everyone of them said: “I knew, you were crying…” Yes, they know me very well… I am still crying right now while writing this… I don’t want to hear about any bad news from America and I don’t want American families to suffer such pain and loss!!! Never ever!!!
    I hope the Dear Heavenly Father from above is hearing all our prayers…
    Sending hugs and kisses to the victims’ families and to the 20 new Cherubs and the 6 new Angels in Heaven…
    Cecilia

  37. You are not alone… with every Holiday preparation I do, I stop and think about the families who have lost their children. From the Holiday family photo cards, the unopened Christmas presents, the cookies they helped bake, and their laundry that they will never wear again, and how Christmas for these families has lost it’s magic and will never be the same again. It is heart wrenching. It is hard to be jolly and have the Holiday spirit when your heart is breaking… We all need to think of the true meaning of Christmas and try to remember that these little angels are in a much better place – a place where they will never be hurt again and away from all the cruel people in this world.

  38. Hi Susan,
    Your lovely, simple words spoke for me, too. I’m a retired elementary teacher & my heart just keeps sobbing. I can’t look or read anymore because I’m full to breaking. I hope we as a nation can use this to effect some change. I look forward to seeing more of your gorgeous pics. Thank you.
    Hugs,
    Alicia

  39. The sad thing about this tragedy is that it’s tearing people apart with all the debates about what caused it. I won’t even begin to debate it here because it’s so trivial in light of all the precious lives that were lost and all the families that are now grieving.
    I too have realized I need to pray for them but I also need to keep my joy because it’s starting to effect my every day and my kids need their mommy “normal” right now. I’m actually stepping away from the media on it because it just makes me more mad than anything.
    Thank you for opening your heart and sharing your thoughts.
    Have a lovely day my friend.
    Kim

  40. Susan as a fellow blogger this has been a difficult week for me too. To add to that is the fact that I have a part-time job in a day care center and I just couldn’t imagine losing that many children and fellow workers because of something so senseless. I think you are doing the right thing by addressing it so beautifully and then moving on. That is something all of us have to do. Thank you for your uplifting post and I am so glad I am one of your subscribers.

  41. Indeed it was the stuff of everyone’s worst nightmares :(
    All so sad and as usual you brought it the best way. Not trying to intrude, not trying to impose, not trying to overwhelm. You’re a wonderful heart, Susan.
    Yours,
    Teresa

  42. Susan,
    This awful awful tragedy has touched everyone in someway in this country. Our prayers go out to these families. May we make every day a special day with our loved ones.

  43. Susan, I think it’s wonderful that you spoke about your feelings regarding this senseless tragedy. I’ve always felt a connection with you because we like the same things and have the same decorating style. Now I know it’s also because we have the same heart. So many of us have shed so many tears over the loss of these precious children. We all know the young man was sick…but still….SO INCREDIBLY HEARTBREAKING…. and also for HIS family….they also lost a son and their hearts also break for the loss of those children for which their son was responsible. I can’t imagine THAT pain. I know those children are with God and though it was premature and senseless, our children are really on loan to us for awhile…they really belong to God….all of us do. He decides when to bring us into the world and when to take us home. As a dear friend said to me yesterday….”those children have reached the destination which we’re all still trying to achieve”.

    God bless you,

    Trish

  44. Susan,
    You may find it odd, but I thought of you during the Friday as all of America watched in horror waiting to find the fate of the Staff and Students in CT. Being a retired Teacher, I thought of many of my “Teacher” friends Principals, Counselors, Social Workers that day.
    I remembered your post when you “retired”. The story you told of what you encountered as you strived to make a difference in the lives of children. I thought of my own Principal, who recently attended a “Surprise Birthday Party” in my honor!!! . . .and I cried for all of us. I cried for allof those in CT.
    Worship was extremely difficult on Sunday! I was met by children being children at the front door. Laughing,running, playing one with another. I fought back tears as I entered. Our Fourh & Fifth Grade students led in the lighting of the Advent candle and I let those tears flow. I had taught Fourth Grade with my Principal.
    We don’t know or understand the why of this horrible act against children and the high call of teaching.
    I join you in prayers for all of those, all of us, and hope that somehow, someway. . .it makes a difference.
    Fondly,
    Pat

  45. Praying for all the families touched by this horrible tragedy. I not sure how they will ever live normal again. I guess I know they won’t. I can’t get the images of the terror and the heartbreak out of my mind. I know this made me stop and think of how precious everyday is. Maybe that is the lesson we all need to take away. I know on Saturday I had an uncontrollable urge to hug my little grandsons. I just had to go see them and hold them for awhile. They made me feel some peace in my heart, and that is what I wish for everyone.

  46. I retired from an elementary school. Three of my friends who still work there were unable to watch the news this weekend. I volunteer on Monday mornings at a school. There was an unexpected fire alarm after staff was informed earlier there would be no drills this week. They couldn’t find what set off the alarm as none of the alarms had been pulled. What really got to me is that the principal, a young man with 3 small children, went into the parking lot armed with only a walkie talkie to see if anyone was sitting in a car threatening “his” building. Even after Friday, he was still doing his job.

  47. I understand what you mean by being in a funk. I have been too, but I think that’s good. We should be. What happened was terrible and it should tug at our hearts for a long time because the pain the parents and loved ones of those who were lost in this terrible tragedy will never forget . I think it would be unfair for all those suffering for everything just to go back to “normal” too quickly.

  48. Linda Hastings says:

    Susan: I have had those type of nightmares too. They really leave you feeling vulnerable. I could not watch or read a lot of the news on the internet because your heart just aches and the tears just fall because any parent can have empathy for each of the parents of the victims. When I think of each of the victims, I have the mental image of a few scenes from Touched By An Angel where that handsome Angel of Death would be with the person whom he would shortly be walking to the gates of Heaven and as soon as their earthly life was over, the light of God’s love surrounded them and the angel helped them not fear the next journey to Heaven. A friend sent this to me and it definitely is not meant to trivialize what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary but it is how I view those victims.

    Twas’ 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38,
    when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate.
    Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
    They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

    They were filled with such joy, they didn’t know what to say.
    They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
    “Where are we?” asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
    “This is heaven.” declared a small boy. “We’re spending Christmas at God’s house.”

    When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
    but Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.
    He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
    Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
    And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
    those children all flew into the arms of their King.
    And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
    one small girl turned and looked at Jesus’ face.
    And as if He could read all the questions she had
    He gently whispered to her, “I’ll take care of Mom and Dad.”
    Then He looked down on earth, the world far below,
    He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe.
    Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
    “Let My power and presence re-enter this land!”
    “May this country be delivered from the hands of fools,”
    “I’m taking back my nation. I’m taking back my schools!”
    Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
    “Come now my children, let me show you around.”
    Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran,
    all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
    And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
    “In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT.”

    My heart aches for each family affected but it also rejoices that these children are with God now and no one can ever hurt them again. They will get their Christmas in Heaven this year.

  49. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I haven’t been able to watch the news because it just breaks my heart too much. I halted my blog for a few days because I didn’t know what to say or do. While we are all mourning those innocent children, life still goes on for our own families and ensuring we maintain holiday traditions for our own kids. I really appreciate you carrying on with your blog as it’s a much needed distraction of happiness. Blessings and prayers to Susan and your readers and especially the families and community of Newtown.

  50. As much as we all love blogging as an escape and try to keep it light and airy the weight of what happened can not be ignored. We all share our decorating and crafting, why can’t we share our hearts and our burdens. Especially this one. This burden belongs to us all. We all have nieces and nephews and children and granchildren, friends children, God children, neighbors children. We care for them all so deeply. It could have been us. Normal won’t return for awhile. Normal has changed. Normal doesn’t exisit in the lives of those suffering. I have put my kindergartner on the bus for 3 days now. It hasn’t slipped my mind once, the tragic events in CT. I pray for those parents, and grandparents, aunt and uncles. The teachers, the staff, the surviving children. Their lives have been forever changed and it’s up to us to help carry them through. Even if it’s just through prayer or giving a little refocus (or more focus) to our own children (& the way we raise them). God Bless

  51. I’m glad you felt you were able to share your feelings on the tragedy and all the news surrounding it. And the dream you had as a result. You always give us such fun posts, lovely photos to look at and an up lifting place to go. I think it’s only fair for your readers to get a chance to be here for you on a day you don’t feel yourself and especially when it is because of an event that brings us all together in feeling the sorrow this one surely brings. Hugs to you, Susan.

  52. Dearest Susan,
    Thank you for your post. I was just reading a message from Holly Gerth. The asked what do we do when the world gives us darkness? We need Light. The Light of Christ. I hope you find some solace as did I, in this comment.

  53. Gale Rockwell says:

    Thank you for doing this blog post. Its important for everyone to join together to process this aweful event. My late father was born and raised in Newtown, CT and I have family there still – some in Sandyhook – and I grew up one town over from Newtown. This truely is a small New England town and it is unimaginable that something like this happened at all let alone there. There are so many funds set up and it is scary to think about the sacms out there so I am sharing the one I know for certain is real: The United Way of Western Connecticut in a partnership with Newtown Savings Bank. Check donations may be mailed to: Sandy Hook School Support Fund, c/o Newtown Savings Bank, 39 Main St., Newtown CT 06470
    I also saw a movement on line to do 20 random acts of kindness in memory of the children (if you are/were a teacher or school leader you might do 26 RAKs). We can’ fix what happened in Sanyhook, but you can do some positive and kind things in these childrens’ memories.

  54. These days have been rough. Our hearts are with Newton and the Sandy Hook School. I’ve been comforted by the outpouring of love from across the country. If anyone missed the tribute on The Voice (NBC), look it up, or check my blog. It was powerful and heartfelt. Just perfect.

  55. I feel the same way, it is hard to be in the Christmas spirit with so much hurt. I worked in an elementary school for 21 years and I told my husband, you know I would’ve died trying to stop him. I pray for the families and children and staff, they will never be the same, none of us will.

  56. Since my Father died, Christmas has always been hard. I love it, but since my daughter is grown I haven’t done much decorating etc. Then to have such a horrific tragedy occur I have been a real mess. I worked with with those that had explosive behavior disorder, oppositional difiant disorder and Aspbergers syndrome among other diagnoses… my heart goes out to all that have been affected.

  57. I live very far away in Christchurch, New Zealand. I can assure you that people here are also very shocked and saddened by what has happened in Newtown. It is a reminder that every day we have with our loved ones is precious as one never knows what the future holds.

  58. Hearts are aching all over America for these precious ones as well as other parts of the world. I can’t begin to imagine the hurt felt by those in Newtown, but I do know that tears are being shed in Oklahoma & the other 49 states. Prayers going up to our Heavenly Father, and also praying that God is restored to His rightful place in our homes, hearts, schools, and America, too.

    Thanks, Susan, for all you do to make your website such a positive place to visit each day. But, sometimes we just have to step back and recognize the hurt that is being felt everywhere. Blessings to you & all your readers!

  59. Hi Susan…. I’m so sorry for the nightmare you had, and hope you don’t have anymore. I’ve cried and sobbed several times, however, no bad dreams so far. This is not something any of us can get over quickly or easily. And it’s just too soon to even consider it. Sadly, I’ve already seen a couple of posts on facebook complaining about too many posts about it, and saying, ‘move on already’. It’s only been a few short days. So, to be in a funk is totally normal. We can’t allow ourselves to get pulled down into a self-defeating depression, however, we are allowed to grieve and feel the deep emotional pain and confusion and questioning the deaths of the children create.

    I decided that I am “in mourning”. And I know the children are due their Christmas, but since I’m alone, I don’t need to force it, and so I’m not. Those families are all going to be in so much pain this Christmas, and I’m going to be with them in spirit, and praying for them. It gets the most difficult for me at work when our grocery store sound system places the song, “I’ll have a blue Christmas Without You”… and all I can think about it what the parents of those children will be suffering on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. Yes, we have a right to change our focus on happier things… however, I think it is also equally o.k. to let ourselves grieve, and if we don’t feel like being merry on this Christmas, it too is o.k, and normal.

    I think it was even on Friday that one of the newscasters made the comment early on that we can’t let ourselves be too fully pulled into the situation, or we won’t be able to get out. I don’t remember the exact wording she use, but it really ‘hit’ me as a very wise and insightful thing. And so I’ve been trying to ‘monitor’ my grief – and guard against slipping into a state of depression. But I cannot be flippantly happy either. I just can’t go there yet – as I also am facing the death from cancer of a dear on-line friend any moment or day now. Life has proven after every tragedy, that it will indeed go on. It needs to be done so however, with a degree of respect in the process. So don’t be down on yourself about being in a funk, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself about making your readers ‘happy’. We’re not, we’re crying too. Hugs to you.

  60. Thank you for posting this Susan, I too have felt the very same way, everything seems so frivolous to me right now in life as a result of this horrific tragedy. All that has happened in Sandy Hook as well as here in my own home town at Clackamas Town Center which is only a few miles from my house, I am feeling like I too want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world.
    Sadly we have all been touched and/or affected by this terrible turn of events and I truly believe we will never be the same again especially during “the most joyous, happiest season of all” as the song lyrics go…
    Blessings to you my friend for still being there blogging to bring a bit of cheer into out hearts and homes…
    Terry

  61. This post and these comments keep spinning around in my head. Especially the person who said about the 20 acts of kindness. Beginning on January 1 through January 20, I’m going to post one act of kindness a day on my blog, with a profile and picture of one of the children each day. The last day will be dedicated to the teachers with a “thank a teacher” act of kindness. My blog is not that big, and I would love to have fellow bloggers join along in spreading 20 acts of kindness to start of 2013. Love and blessings, Holly

  62. This has been truly unspeakably sad. I like the Bible verse Philippians 4:8 which says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.” That’s where my interest in doing embroidery designs came from. It’s directing your mind to do something beautiful instead of dwelling on the sad things you can’t do anything about. So while you’re feeling like tablescapes, etc., are trivial in comparison, these activities really aren’t. It’s going forward in a positive way, to bring some beauty in a cherished memory to the people that pass through our lives. And isn’t that what it’s all about? Do something beautiful instead – that’s my shortcut reminder to myself not to think about any sort of ugly that comes up in life. Merry Christmas Susan.

  63. I have only just picked up this post Susan, somehow I missed it. This was such an awful tragedy, resulting in no closure for the parents. Even though my children are grown with their own children, I just wanted to gather them close to keep them safe.
    My eldest daughter is a teacher and deals with what they call an alternate class, children who have problems and I often wonder about her safety and this tragedy touched really close.
    I watch X-factor and this week before the show, the singers dedicated a song to the people lost and the names of all of them were printed on the screen. That’s when I lost it, I cried for the children and the people left behind. Thank you for addressing this Susan. We may question the reasons for this, but there is no answer.

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